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While the act and mindset of personal responsibility is a topic of interest for another day (long-story short: your needs = your responsibility to meet them), by having these conversations out loud with each other, you’ll be able to avoid so much unnecessary misunderstanding, drama, and tension by having talked about your needs up front. Put even more simply, deciding something and bringing intentional thought to it is better than just doing something because it feels like the logical next step. Whether you’ve been dating for five hours, five weeks, or five years is irrelevant.It’s never too late to draft up a relationship contract between you and your partner because it helps drive a stake into the ground corresponding with the effort and communicative clarity that you want to bring to your love life.
Yes, there will likely be certain items on your unique list that do need to be upheld all of the time in order for the relationship to function. The point of the contract is to treat it as your North star, and to point your needle back to it as quickly as possible to keep the love flowing.
What overarching benefit are you (and your partner) primarily looking for by writing up your relationship contract?
Are you looking for a sense of safety and security?
So instead of letting your social contracts be covert, vague, and unspoken, why not sit down and say, “This is what matters to me”, and then allow your partner to do the same.
When you sit down to write your contract, it’s good to pause for a moment and ask yourself why you feel compelled to write it up at all.