Dating advie from a girl

The relaxed attitude towards the passing of time is one of the things that draws many foreigners into Spanish life…But if you’re the type of person whose heart starts racing if it looks like you’ll be 2 minutes late for an appointment, you’ve got a lot of “inner work” to do. But she prefers speaking English when you’re together. I suspect this is just a myth created by the scarf industry to make sure she spends 11 months a year wrapping her neck. Dating a Spanish girl means accepting things you don’t necessarily agree with – and trying to rush her through her two-and-a-half-hour morning routine would be the height of cultural insensitivity. Then be cool: don’t try to hurry her hair-ironing or eyebrow tweezing. The other month of the year, she’ll be at the beach, extolling the magical healing powers of seawater and kelp. And since we usually come from places with no public transport, we’re happy to grab the metro or an occasional taxi. Just try “getting intimate” with that special lady while mom and dad are sitting on the sofa eating In Spain, it doesn’t matter if you’re 35.Walking out of the house and having such things waiting for us seems glamorous and European – almost James-Bondish. You can be unemployed and living at home – sleeping on a twin bed shaped like a racecar, even – and nobody will think it’s weird. It beats getting a tutor to “drill you” on pronunciation any day. And Spanish girls are often beautiful, passionate, joyous… But before you pack your bags and hop on the first flight to Madrid, you should know: beautiful, passionate and joyous is not the whole story.

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As humans societies have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies, there have been substantial changes in relations between people, with perhaps one of a few remaining biological constants being that both adult women and men must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen.

And if you should find yourself waiting somewhere in public for her to show up, you’d better bring a book to read. And another one: don’t sleep with plants in your room.

Don’t even think of calling her out on her lateness. Plants give off oxygen during the day, but at night they shoot poison gas out of their pores and you’ll die asphyxiated in your bed.

My friend Nina over at Nina’s Sweet Adventures has written an article about dating Spanish men.

Because actually, dating Spanish can be quite complicated – ask me how I know.

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