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Natalie says: ‘The desire or attraction seems to come, in part, from the idealised view of the person, it is assumed that because a person holds a position of power they are respected, capable, together and are able to contain and respond to our own fragility or chaos.
For such a person to value us would reinforce our ego and communicate to others that we are valuable, lovable and worthy.’ Power imbalances in relationships are a hot topic following the #Me Too movement.
Undeniably there have been abuses of power from people in positions of authority both towards adults and children.
Fortunately for me, every authority figure I fell for in my adolescence either didn’t notice my thumping great crush, or wasn’t inclined to take advantage of it.
In evolutionary terms someone in a position of power is seen as someone with resources and abilities that will create viable offspring and therefore we are driven to form an attachment with them.
‘The attraction to power will also be based on an individual’s early attachment relationships.
Fleabag asks all sorts of clever questions about modern life, like what role religion has in 2019, how it’s possible to be both sex positive and recognise that casual sex can come from an unhealthy place and why some people look so much better in a jumpsuit than others.
But the question I found myself asking, as I had a demi orgasm over Andrew Scott telling Phoebe Waller-Bridge to ‘kneel’, is why I – and a lot of other women – am so desperately, universally, unflinchingly attracted to figures of authority. I went to an all-girl boarding school so obviously everyone had a crush on a member of staff.
The not knowing what we know now; the hindsight is 20/20 and all that.When I worked as a temp I would fall for anyone senior in an office who was kind to me or took a moment to explain how to use the coffee machine.‘It’s something about someone senior taking time to focus on me, like I’m special and worthy of extra attention.Sadly, it didn’t, which is how I found myself in a four and a half year long relationship with a man 36 years my senior.Francesca, 34, tells uk that she has a similar problem: ‘I’ve fancied almost every boss I’ve ever had.