Dating selfish women
If you’re dating, be clear on if you want to “date” or have a relationship.
I’ve heard that some people are into casual dating and casual sex.
If the person doesn’t really open up until a glass of wine or two, you might be rubbing up against someone who has a hard time expressing themselves.
In moderation, as a celebration lifter, a few drinks on the weekend are no problem.
Dating after divorce is tricky too, and I’ve found some things I think are good indicators of how whole a person is, and how ready they are for a healthy relationship.
Sure, your dating profile says something like, “Let’s be friends first and see where that takes us.” But most people I meet are really hoping that friendship takes us to the next wave of affection. We have found our own way out of the desert of depression and despair. Their divorce is still too painful, or their relationship with their ex is still too volatile. If, however you begin to think your shit is sufficiently together to date again, some new boundaries are in order.
That’s never worked for me, but if that’s your thing, make sure that’s what the other person is saying as well.
Perhaps that’s part of what led us to divorce, we stopped dating our partners and began to take them for granted.
Or perhaps the child was overly shy and withdrawn, folding themselves into the parent.
At younger ages some of this behavior is acceptable. Both the kids and the parents need to return to healthy boundaries and healthy communication styles, so that everyone can grow up, and let go of the stigma and shame of the divorce.
I think we are mostly looking to me found and appreciated by another person, while having the opportunity to appreciate them back. And now, standing strong and alone again, we are ready to dip our toes into the idea of being loved and loving again. And here is what I’ve found to be the indicators of a healthy start.
We want to become the most fantastic cheerleader for their hopes and dreams and we expect that positive affirmation in return. If your potential partner is still dramatically engaged or enraged at their ex partner, watch out. And it’s tough to get through all the processing that needs to happen before we can cut it loose and be free of the burden of our ex.