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A lot of it comes down to how the divorce went down, says licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph. For someone who was only married a few years without kids, divorce could feel like a normal breakup except with lots of documents to sign, she says.

“[But] a divorce for someone who was married a long time or has kids may mean having to integrate all of those factors into the relationship,” Duvasula says.

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You want to determine if she’s still pining for her old life, Durvasula says.

However, her answer to the question can provide clues as to whether that’s the case.

Not everyone can speak highly about their ex, but if she’s super bitter or angry about him, that could be a sign that she’s still emotionally invested in the relationship, Durvasula says.

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