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Two years later, I had my first crush on a woman, Bethany*, the star of the high school drama club.In 2009, I left Apache for college in Syracuse, New York.“I have a hard time knowing who else is queer — my town is definitely a don’t ask, don’t tell society,” says Nicole, 38, who recently moved to rural Michigan from San Francisco.

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The going theory isn’t that California births more queer babies but that the queer people who grow up in Montana eventually move to Los Angeles, New York City, Seattle, or another city where they feel safer and part of a bigger queer community.Therefore, it is always good to get some information about your cruisingmate: name, description, license plate, etc.My parents, brother, and I moved to Apache when I was 14.Most met their eventual spouses in school or at work, while my friends in New York tend to meet people all over the place — in bars, at parties, at museum exhibits, on the subway, and, often, on dating apps.Some queer women who live in rural areas also meet partners at work or in school (my first crush, Bethany, actually met her wife while they were both serving in the military), but it’s less likely.

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