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As a woman, I know that sometimes talking about gender with a male partner – even if he’s well versed in all things feminist – can feel exhausting.

Sometimes I don’t want to chat with someone who only has a theoretical understanding of gender oppression.

If they’re cool with you taking the lead, what, exactly, do they need you to say? I was pretty sure I understood his tone as joking, and I was also pretty sure he knew that this was another ridiculous Degrassi question, but I still knew that I had to own up to that mistake – and apologize.

Will they want some alone time afterward – or maybe some time to debrief with you? I’m in the middle of rewatching Degrassi: The Next Generation from season one, episode one. From demands to “speak Spanish to me” to straight-up hurling the N-word the way one might “baby” in the heat of the moment, it’s clear that not all white people understand how to show basic respect and humanity toward their partners of color. Fabello, Co-Managing Editor of Everyday Feminism, is a sexuality educator, eating disorder and body image activist, and media literacy vlogger based out of Philadelphia. in English Education from Boston University and an M.

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So, whether you’re years deep in a charmingly fairy tale-esque romance with your beau or you’re just now firing up to dive into your first, here are seven things to remember as a white person involved with a person of color.

While it’s okay for conversations about white supremacy to make you uncomfortable (hey, we should be uncomfortable with that shit), being generally aware of how race plays out and feeling fairly well versed in Being honest about the ways in which race is complex – both inside and outside of your relationship – shows a willingness to engage with a part of your partner’s identity and experience in a way that really holds them.

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