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I routinely tell my daughter to treat others the way she'd like the be treated, but as she put it, "when you're in a fight with someone and they're insulting you, you don't think about being nice, you fight back". I was a kid at one point too, but I just don't remember there being so much drama! As I read through some of the conversations they've had on there, it's quite obvious they'd never say that to each others faces.
I do limit the time she spends on there- 15 minutes per day. I do have an older dd as well (turning 15 in a week) but we've been very luckly with the fact that almost all of the kids in her class have a good head screwed on their shoulders. I hope your daughters drama doesn't last as long as it did for mine.
One day she's overjoyed with the fact that she and Suzie had a blast together, the next day she's in tears because a different girl is mad that their "excluding the other friends." She has other friends outside of her group of close friends, but she finds that it's no different with anyone else!
Part of the problem is the parents of the girls in the class- most of them have the "my child is better than yours attitude", and can't fathom that their little angel of a daughter might possibly be doing something wrong, but there comes a point where you can't blame the parents, because in the end, it's the girls who choose their actions.
But today youth ministers, and even some teens, are sounding an alarm, that dating may be more intense and destructive than it was for their parents.
You might want to read Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman and Queen Bee Moms and King Pin Dads by the same author Dorothy My daughter is going into fifth grade, and the drama started in fourth.
She has some good friends from different groups (but we know that the real cliques haven't started yet).
It started in middle school and didn't end until HS graduation.
I was so relieved when she went away to college just because I couldn't take it anymore. She just had a really weird social group that she went through school with.